Dancing Lessons
by di1682
Summary: While Thomas is in America, Jimmy comes to realize how much Thomas means to him. He also learns something interesting about Mr. Barrow from a surprise guest one night and with a little help of Lady Rose, Jimmy will find himself in a situation that will be very fun for Rose but nerve racking for Jimmy.
1. Chapter 1

_I want to find you happy and healthy and courting a girl from the village_.

Those words replayed in Jimmy's head for days after Mr. Barrow had gone to America with Lord Grantham. After agreeing to be friends with the under-butler (which Jimmy was a little terrified of doing at the time) he noticed how the older man kept his distance and how relaxed things were between them. Jimmy's trust in Thomas grew slowly in time. They would spend time together playing cards, talking about almost anything, sharing a laugh and also good gossip, Jimmy saw what a great friend Thomas really was.

Things with Ivy were finally over. He tried to be civil with her but she would throw a nasty look at him and that was that.

It had been five days since Mr. Barrow had gone and Jimmy secretly admitted to himself that he missed the man. Mr. Carson had told the servants that both Lord Grantham and Mr. Barrow were finally on their way towards New York and that it would take a few days for them to get there.

Later that night, Jimmy was sitting alone in the servants hall playing solitaire. _That's how I feel, solitaire..._ He glanced at the rocking chair by the fire. _He's always sitting there reading the paper or chatting with me._ Jimmy was the only one that knew why Thomas always sat in that chair in the late evenings. After all, Jimmy was curious, so one evening, he asked.

"The heat of the fire helps my hand," Thomas explained with a small smile as he raised his gloved hand.

"Oh," Jimmy said feeling like an idiot. "Does it really hurt?"

Thomas nodded. "Especially when nights are cold."

"Oh," Jimmy said again feeling stupider than before. Thomas chuckled.

For some reason, Jimmy felt special about being the only one to know about Thomas' reason about the rocking chair. So he made sure that no one sat on that chair except Mr. Barrow.

"I don't see his name written on it," accused Mr. Moseley one evening. "Why are you always saving that chair for him, anyways?"

"Look," Jimmy said impatiently, "just don't bloody sit on it, alright?"

Mr. Moseley raised his eyebrows and said, "I give up," and walked away.

Jimmy smiled at the memory and continued his game of solitaire. Mrs. Hughes walked in and saw him. "James? Aren't you going to bed"

Jimmy looked up from his cards and smiled at her. "I will in a little," he said softly and Mrs. Hughes saw how Jimmy lost himself in thought. She sat across from him, Jimmy snapped from his thoughts and looked at the housekeeper.

"You miss him," she said knowingly.

Jimmy frowned. "Miss who?"

"Mr. Barrow," she chuckled. "You miss good old Thomas."

"I-I, Uh," Jimmy stammered and felt his cheeks burn. "He's my mate, is all."

"Of course he's your mate, and I'm glad you're his friend, James. Mr. Barrow is a good person," she smiled.

"That he is," Jimmy grinned.

* * *

Five days turned into four weeks. There were news that Lord Grantham was dealing with some issues with the Levinsons. No news of Mr. Barrow. That irritated Jimmy.

"At least they could tell us how Mr. Barrow is doing," huffed Jimmy.

Mr. Carson rolled his eyes. "I'm sure Mr. Barrow is perfectly fine, if not, we would have known otherwise, so consider this a good thing."

Jimmy slumped back on his chair and sighed heavily. "I suppose."

At that moment, the bell for the Drawing Room was rung and Mr. Carson stepped out of the room. Mrs. Hughes sat next to Jimmy and spoke in a low voice. "Now, James, there is no need to become so impatient."

Jimmy closed his eyes. "I know and I'm sorry. It just bothers me that they don't take Mr. Barrow into consideration of things, s'all. I just want to know if he's well."

Mrs. Hughes smiled. "I'm sure he is, don't you fret about it anymore."

Mr. Carson came inside the servants hall and everyone stood. "Right, so tomorrow night, Lady Grantham is having a guest, her name is Countess Hardwick. Apparently she is just back from New York and saw Lord Grantham while she was there and says to have some good things to tell the family of what is going on over there. So I want everything prepared for tomorrow night. James and Mr. Mosely, you will polish the silver at once."

Jimmy and Mr. Mosely looked at each other and groaned. _I wonder if this Countess will have anything to say about Mr. Barrow._


	2. Chapter 2

Jimmy climbed up the stairs tiredly after a long day of polishing the stupid silver. _Bloody silver, bloody Crawleys and their bloody guests and all that bollocks. I wonder what Thomas is doing right now... _He stood frozen. He thought of Mr. Barrow as Thomas, not as Mr. Barrow._ He's Mr. Barrow, not Thomas. Like he tells people 'that's Mr. Barrow to you.' He told that to one of the hall boys a few months ago... that was bloody funny, the look on that lad's face!_ Jimmy giggled on the dark stairway. He stopped, shook his head and kept on going. _I'm losing me head!_

Once inside his room, he took off his livery and hung it neatly on his wardrobe. He put on his pajamas and sat on the bed. He sighed deeply. Suddenly he felt an urge to get out of his room. He quietly walked out of his room with a candle. The hallway was dark but Jimmy turned toward a certain place in the hallway, Thomas' room. The under-butler's door became clearer the more he got closer.

Before he knew it, Jimmy was opening the door and closed it once he was inside. Mr. Barrow's room looked strangely calmed, the silence was overwhelming. It also smelled of cigarettes and after shave. _That's his everyday scent._ Every single piece of furniture looked in place, the little bed neatly made. Jimmy opened the wardrobe and all the suits and liveries were hanged. There was a hanger that had like ten ties of different colors. Jimmy closed the doors and turned around and walked to the dresser. On top of it, he saw a picture of a couple. _His parents._ The woman in the picture had a half smirk. _He looks just like his mother,_ Jimmy thought with a smile. His father had dark hair and a beard.

Jimmy opened the first drawer and saw a few white shirts folded. _No mess whatsoever. Why wouldn't there be? Mr. Barrows takes pride of his presentation and neatness, of course his things are going to be the same, you bloody twat, who is going through his things! What is wrong with you?!_ He stared at the shirts and took one out; he unfolded it and held it above his head to take a good look at it. _Yes, it's bigger than mine. Well yes, Jimmy, that's because he's taller than you and broader and muscular and so... manly. What the fuck?!_ Jimmy growled in frustration and hit his head with a pile of Thomas' shirt. He took a deep breath._ Hmm... that's a different scent._ He closed his eyes and inhaled the shirt again. "Oh, fuck, that smells good," he breathed huskily. He went to the bed and laid face down on it, his face on the pillow. He stayed like that for a few seconds. _This scent is so much better than the one he always carries. This one is... intoxicating. It's driving me wild._ Before he knew it, Jimmy felt himself get hard by smelling Mr. Barrow's shirt and pillow. "Shite," he cursed. _I need to get out of here._

Jimmy got up from the bed and left the room. He shut the door to his room and leaned back against the door and took several deep breaths to calm down._ What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. Me?! I got hard because I smelled Mr. Barrow's shirt and pillow! But what a smell! I can't get enough of it! I love it! Come off of it, Jimmy! This is a MAN we're talking! Girls smell really good... But nothing compares to Mr. Barrow's scent! Oh bugger..._ Jimmy felt something in his hand. He had the shirt. Without thinking, he smelled it and exhaled happily. He got in his bed and laid down, brought the shirt to his nose, closed his eyes and before he knew it, he was fast asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

"Six o'clock!" Shouted a hall boy as he knocked on Jimmy's door. The footman groaned and buried his face on the pillow. He breathed in the smoky, soapy, manly scent of Mr. Barrow. "Mmm," he moaned and smelled it one more time. _Strange, the scent is fading away, now his shirt smells like me. But there's still a hint of smell... Bloody hell! Now it's my scent and his together! _Jimmy inhaled deeply. _Oh fuck, this is our scent together. This is what we would smell if we wake up in the same bed! Oh, Jimmy, you've lost your head, you've gone mad! Now you're thinking about sleeping with Mr. Barrow! Get yourself together, you stupid idiot!_ Jimmy felt the front of his pants tight and looked down. _Great, I'm hard again!_ He groaned in frustration.

-o-

Jimmy rushed to the servants hall and sat down. He was panting and kept trying to put his hair together.

"Where have you been to?" Asked Mr. Molesley. "You look agitated."

Jimmy felt himself blush. "I, uh, found myself in a tight situation!" _And you had to use that word, didn't you, Jimmy? Pun intended indeed!_

Mr. Molesley didn't seem interested. He just shrugged his shoulders and continued to eat his breakfast. Mr. Carson came in and everyone stood up. "Right," he said. "Lady Grantham has informed me that Lady Hardwick will be in this afternoon along with her daughter. So I want this house presentable enough so that they can forget anything that they saw in New York." Jimmy couldn't help but roll his eyes.

-o-

The morning went by smoothly. Everything was dusted, the carpets were clean, the guest bedrooms had fresh new sheets, and the silver was neatly polished.

Everyone stood outside of the Abbey at four in the afternoon when they saw a car come by and stop by the entrance. Mr. Molesley opened the door and out came Countess Emma Hardwick. Her brown hair was pulled high. She was a middle aged woman but beautiful at the same time. "Hello," she told Mr. Molesley who couldn't help but smile back (much to Mr. Carson's horror) and then her daughter, Annie stepped out too.

"Ah, Emma. Welcome," Cora said as she extended her arms to receive the Countess. "How are you? Did you have a good trip?"

Lady Hardwick grinned and nodded. "Oh yes, quite nice. We had a lovely breeze, didn't we, Lizzie darling?"

Elizabeth Hardwick who was in her late teens or early twenties, was the mirrored version of her mother. She went to take Cora's hands in greeting. "Quite lovely. No storms whatsoever."

While the ladies and the rest of the servants went inside, Jimmy and Mr. Molesley were unpacking the car and were taking everything to the guest bedrooms.

Jimmy was still in thought of what had happened earlier that morning. He was late for breakfast because he needed to find relief because of an intoxicating shirt... that belonged to a certain under-butler... who was starting to consume Jimmy's waking thoughts. He did dream about Thomas' hands, which didn't help his fragile situation. And after smelling that shirt in the morning, he just needed to find release or else it would have been one hell of a day. So he tried to not think about Mr. Barrow for the rest of the day.

-o-

Dinner came upon them too soon for Mr. Carson's liking. Lady Rose was more excited than anyone to hear what New York was all about. How the fashion was and how were the people. Lady Hardwick had said how things were changing in the New World. "And this alcohol prohibition is outrageous, I was dying for wine the entire time I was there."

_Yes, yes! Enough of the bloody wine! I want to know about Mr. Barrow! Give me something, lady!_ Jimmy tried his best not to make faces at the ridiculous conversation.

"So, Emma," said Cora. "You did say you had some entertaining stories about Robert. I'd love to hear them!"

"Mhm," said Lady Hardwick into her drink. "Ah yes. As I was visiting your mother, she decided to take all of us to this theater or something where they play this new type of jazz music with waltz, if I'm not mistaken. And since times are indeed changing, I suggested that the servants should take the night off and come with their employers to this club sort of type," she laughed.

"What amused me the most was Robert's valet..." Lady Hardwick was lost in thought.

"Mr. Barrow," said Edith.

"Oh no! Not, Mr. Barrow, Thomas!" She giggled.

Mr. Carson made an uncomfortable face and Jimmy raised his eyes.

"Ah yes, dear Thomas... Robert was hesitant about asking him to join us, so I did it for him! And not to mention, I gave the lad a decent suit for the evening. He looked so... dashing! Women had his eyes on him all evening. The poor lad looked uncomfortable but what a great dancer! I've never seen anyone dance as lovely as he did!"

"Barrow? Our Barrow? Are you sure this was him?" Cora implied.

"The same," laughed Lady Hardwick. "He's so handsome, so charismatic, so charming. I cannot believe that he is not taken!"

"That's because Thomas has a preference for men," Mary blurted out.

Cora gasped. "Mary! Please!"

Emma Hardwick looked dumbfounded. "Is that right? Oh my word! How disappointing! But he's got all the qualities of a heartbreaker! He is the best dancer partner I've ever danced with in my entire life. Well, then... I do hope he makes another lad happy with those qualities." Mr. Carson made a choking sound and everyone gasped. Lady Rose kept giggling the entire time. Jimmy wanted to fall down.

-o-

After the dinner and everything was done and over with, Jimmy needed to leave the house for a minute. He sneaked out and walked down the front path. He walked to the familiar tree that was by the road to sit on the bench that was behind it. He sat down and sighed. He couldn't believe Lady Hardwick's described Mr. Barrow. He closed his eyes and tried to picture the now valet in his mind. "I wonder what you're doing now."

"I'm standing right here," said a voice.

Jimmy yelped out of the bench and looked alarmed to find non other than Lady Rose. "Oh, James! I didn't mean to startle you."

"Milady," panted Jimmy as he had a hand on his chest to calm down. "Shouldn't you be inside?"

Rose smiled and shook her head. "I wanted to get out of the house to get some fresh air, but I did follow you here."

Jimmy drowned, "why?"

Rose smirked. "Because I think you and I need to have a conversation."


	4. Chapter 4

**I want to thank everyone who has read this. It means a lot to me, it makes me happy and it encourages me to keep on writing this silly story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!**

**I hope their conversation was okay!**

* * *

Rose smiled and sat down. "Join me," she said as she patted the seat next to her.

"Carson would have a fit," Jimmy chuckled.

Rose shook her head. "Do you remember those months ago when I said that I would be your friend forever? I meant it. I want us to be friends and confide in each other."

Jimmy paced around. "His Lordship would have me sacked if he finds out!"

Rose stood up and took Jimmy's arm. "Cousin Robert doesn't have to find out. We can keep this to ourselves. Now come, sit with me and let's chat."

Jimmy was tugged down next to Rose and still felt uneasy. "I don't know, Milady... it's too risky."

She sighed. "I'll have none of that. First things first. Since we are now friends, I insist you call me Rose when we're in each other's company and I shall call you Jimmy, since I know that is how you prefer to be called and that's how Barrow calls you anyway."

When Mr. Barrow's name was mentioned, Jimmy couldn't help but shoot his head up and stare at Rose with wide eyes. She giggled, "and that is why we need to have this conversation."

Jimmy tried to not pretend he got caught. "Talk about what?"

Rose slapped Jimmy's arm. "Barrow! You hear his name and you're on high alert."

Jimmy felt a cold chill of panic. "Do not! I do not get on high alert when I hear Thomas' name!" _Oh, fuck!_

Rose gasped. "I knew it! I was right!" She grinned at Jimmy.

_Somebody kill me!_ "Milady, you have it all wrong!" Panic kept on rising. "I, uh, I, oh damn to hell!" He buried his face in his hands in defeat. "I will turn in my notice as soon as I go back inside, please, Lady Rose. Don't call the police!" He pleaded desperately. He covered his sobs with his hands.

Rose's smile disappeared. "What on earth are you talking about? First of all, no more milady and lady, it's Rose. Second, I forbid you to turn in your notice and third, I have no reason to call the police."

Jimmy looked up through his tears. "What?"

Rose chuckled. She took out her handkerchief and wiped Jimmy's tears. "I am not going to call the police on you, Jimmy," she said softly. "Nobody in this house will. As long as you and Barrow stay here, you are safe. Now if you ask of me, I think this situation about getting arrested because two men love each other it is simply ridiculous. This is love! it's not like you're committing murder!"

Jimmy was shocked. _How in the blazes can she see this? Have I been too obvious? I don't have feelings for men! I just happen to like Mr. Barrow a little too much._

"I had my suspicions," Rose said carefully with a smile. "In the past during several dinners, I have been watching the way you look at Barrow. You never stop looking at him. When he looks at you, you look at something else. I thought it was pure admiration but after tonight's dinner with Lady Hardwick. my suspicions were confirmed."

"I, uh, didn't know you were looking," he said. "Since nobody pays attention to details like that."

"Well, I do."

Jimmy chuckled, "clearly!"

Rose giggled. "Anyway, when Lady Hardwick began to talk about Barrow, your face lit up and you blushed when she described him. You were into the conversation. The only thing missing was for you to jump in and babble about him."

Jimmy looked down. "I haven't heard any news from him since he left. I just wanted to know if he was alright, if he was safe. I don't know what came over me," he said softly looking at his hands.

She patted his shoulder. "You miss him, don't you?"

Jimmy looked at Rose and made a pained expression. "Now the way I see it, you just developed feelings for him after he was gone. And I believe he has feelings for you as well."

Jimmy nodded. "I knew that. I didn't or don't know if he still does."

"What do you mean?" Rose asked. Jimmy told her about his past with Thomas, when they met. The clock incident, the flirting, the touching, and the kiss and how everything went horribly wrong from there. How tense things were for a year between them and what had happened at the fair and how they decided to be friends.

"Oh, Jimmy! He scarified himself for you! How romantic!" She placed her hands on her chest. "He's your hero!"

Jimmy frowned, "you think that was romantic? I thought it was careless."

Rose slapped his arm again. "That's what love is! That is like the biggest thing one can do for love. That was very romantic."

"I don't know if he still has feelings for me," Jimmy lamented.

"Oh I beg to differ! He does have feelings," she smiled knowingly. "I've seen the way he looks at you. Barrow has a cold stare but it melts when he sees you. It's rare to see Barrow smile. In fact, I caught him one day, and I feel badly for it, but I will tell you. I was looking for Mrs. Hughes one evening and as I was going downstairs, I saw Barrow in the hallway and he was looking into the servant's hall. You were in there talking to one of the kitchen maids..."

"Oh, yes, Ivy," Jimmy pulled a face.

Rose frowned. "Hush, don't interrupt me. Anyway, you were telling a story and she was laughing. Barrow was leaning against the wall listening to you. He was laughing quietly and then you went outside with her. Barrow went to look out the window to see you and he started to cry. Stupid me said "AW" and he saw me. I was terribly embarrassed but no more than him. He was mortified. I told him that I nearly twisted my ankle and made that noise. I wanted to comfort him but before I knew what was happening, he excused himself and ran up the stairs."

Jimmy stared at Rose. "How long was this?"

Rose raised her shoulders. "I would say about two months ago."

"I can't believe it," he whispered and looked at the trees. "After all this time... After he asked me to be his friend, it made him very happy. But after that, he never made an approach, he never touched me again. Things seemed normal, just the way I wanted it and I never cared what he wanted... I'm so selfish!" Jimmy stood up and stumped the ground. He turned around to face Rose. "I broke his heart again! Two times! One for nearly getting him sacked and arrested and now because me and my stupid mouth had to say 'I can never give you what you want'! Oh bloody hell, I've fucked up, haven't I?"

Rose was still sitting on the bench with her mouth wide open. Jimmy reacted. "I'm so sorry for my language, Lady Rose."

She crossed her arms. "I won't forgive you if you talk to me so formally."

Jimmy sighed and smiled. "I ruined things... haven't I, Rose?"

Rose walked to Jimmy and stood in front of Jimmy. She took his hands. "You haven't ruined anything. Every problem has a solution and this is not even a problem, it's a situation. But we do have to come up with a solution for him not to be so fidgety around you. We want Barrow to warm up to you like the old days. Now, I have several questions."

Jimmy waited. "Alright."

Rose put her hands on her hips "Do you like Barrow?"

Jimmy nodded. "Yes."

She smiled in satisfaction. "Do you miss him?"

Jimmy sighed. "Yes," he whispered.

Rose held her breath. "Do you love him?"

Jimmy was taken aback for the question. The past month without Mr. Barrow has been difficult. He remembered the things he did to try and pass the time, like the few several times that he was in his room. The shirt that he took. The fantasies that he had whenever he smelled the shirt and how he would pleasure himself. Listening to Lady Hardwick's words. And now talking with Rose. I had never been clearer, he was absolutely convinced. Jimmy took a deep breath and smiled as he said the words: "I love Thomas Barrow."

Rose shrieked with happiness.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Before continuing on the storyline, I wanted to do an interlude. This chapter will be focused on Thomas. It will explain how his life has been since Jimmy agreed to be his friend. Lady Hardwick will make an appearance._**

* * *

_"I can never give you what you want," Jimmy said determined._

_"I understand that," Thomas said slowly as he closed his eyes. "I do. And I don't ask for it. But I'd like it if we could be friends."_

_"Right you are, Mr. Barrow," Jimmy said as he rubbed his thighs. "If that's all. I can manage."_

_Thomas' face exploded with happiness. "Thank you, Jimmy. Thank you."_

Thomas lay in bed that night after their conversation. It was the first time he felt this happy in over a year. The ugly situation with Jimmy was finally over. He saw this as a new way to start things between them again. His feelings for Jimmy were still strong, despite of all the things the footman did to him. _Never mind that, put it behind you. He's giving you his friendship. Earn his trust. Don't fuck it up again, this is your last opportunity. Finally, everything is well and I don't feel so alone anymore. _Thomas' eyes filled with tears and he let them fall like he had done every night for the past year, but this time, they were tears of joy.

* * *

Thomas laughed, "no, no. You're doing it wrong! You need to hold it in for a bit and then breath out."

Jimmy was trying to learn how to smoke and Mr. Barrow was teaching him. They were outside in the courtyard, sitting on the little table there. "I'm bloody trying!" He said as he coughed. "You make it look so easy! How long have you been smoking?"

Mr. Barrow took a drag of his cigarette and silently showed Jimmy what he's been trying to teach him for the past twenty minutes. "Since I was a lad. Fourteen maybe? It helps me to calm down."

Jimmy raised his eyebrows and tried one last time. He took a drag and held it in for a while, then he exhaled. "I did it! I didn't choke!"

"Looks like you've mastered the art of smoking, Mr. Kent," Mr. Barrow said with the cigarette in his mouth. _Now I can watch you suck on that cig, I love it... I love you._

* * *

It had been six months since their agreed friendship. Thomas was doing everything in his power to not show his affection for Jimmy. He knew the consequences if it happened again. Ms. O'Brien left, so things were a little easier. One night, Thomas and Jimmy were sitting in the servant's hall and they were playing cards and drinking tea.

"So I was thinking..." Jimmy began as he shuffled the cards.

"Yes?" Thomas sipped his tea.

"I'm thinking about asking Ivy out, for real this time," Jimmy said as he was dealing the cards. "Maybe go see that Rudolph Valentino film."

Thomas felt ice hit his heart. "Really," he said calmly as possible. "What brought this on?"

Jimmy shrugged. "Oh, you know, she's a pretty girl. She can cook, she's nice. We've been flirting a lot, maybe it's time to take the next step and court her."

"Of course," Thomas forced a smile. "It's the logical thing to do."

"Ah, there she is! Hang on a moment, Mr. Barrow, I'll be right back." Jimmy didn't wait for Thomas to reply, he stood up and went into the kitchen. Thomas stood up after Jimmy had left and stood behind the wall. He couldn't see them.

"Ivy."

"Jimmy, hello! I thought you would be up for the night."

"Ah no, I'm playing cards with Mr. Barrow."

"You've been spending a lot of time with Mr. Barrow."

"We're good mates."

Thomas couldn't help but smile at that comment.

"Well, Ivy, I would like to know if you would accompany me to see the new Valentino film."

Thomas heard her gasp. "I'd be delighted!"

"How about tomorrow night?"

"Yes, that's lovely. Wouldn't Mr. Barrow be upset if you didn't play cards with him?"

Jimmy snorted. "I'd rather spend my time with you than the likes of him!"

Thomas looked down at his hands and shook his head. _I see how it is. It seems you're forced to spend time with me. Your time is being wasted._ He turned around and walked out of the servant's hall and climbed the stairs to his room. Tears were falling down his face as he tried not to sob. Once in the safe heaven of his room, the sobs came out, his heart breaking into a thousand pieces for the thousandth time. Unfortunately for Thomas, he didn't hear the rest of the conversation.

"Jimmy! You said he was your friend!" Ivy accused.

"He is! Oh, bugger, it just came out wrong. Mr. Barrow is a dear friend. He will understand."

After saying their goodbyes for the evening, Jimmy went back to the servant's hall with a bit smile.

"Mr. Ba-," he stopped as he saw the hall empty. _That's odd, he's gone and I asked him to wait. Did I do something? _

Jimmy cleared the table and went to bed.

Thomas was on his bed looking at the ceiling, his eyes were puffy, the tear tracks on his face were dry and his pillow damp. Sleep never came to him, all the under-butler could think were those words that hurt him deeply. If Jimmy didn't care for him, Thomas would simply stay out of his way like he did during that painful year. _Yes, that's what I'll do... stay out of his way._

The next morning in the servants' hall, Thomas had a quick breakfast and left the moment he saw Jimmy. The footman could see the hurt in his friend's eyes but he still didn't understand what was wrong. He walked out to the courtyard and saw Mr. Barrow standing at the corner looking into the property.

"Mr. Barrow?" Asked Jimmy hesitantly.

Thomas cleared his throat. "Is there anything I can do for you, James?"

Jimmy winced. Mr. Barrow had called him by his full name, he rarely did that. "You could tell me what is bothering you," he tried lightly.

Thomas shook his head. "You can go inside, I don't want to waste your time with the likes of me," he said coldly.

Jimmy frowned. "What in the world? Oh," it hit him hard. "You heard me say that," he said softly.

"I did," Mr. Barrow turned around with an angry face. "You were never forced to become my friend, you know. Did you do it to hurt me more? That is just too cruel, Jimmy."

Jimmy took one step back and raised his hands. "You got that all wrong, Mr. Barrow! Did you hear Ivy scold me for that and how I apologized and said that you're a dear friend?"

Thomas froze and blinked several times. "What?"

"You can go ask Ivy if you like, that girl doesn't know how to lie!"

_That's true, she can't lie to save her life._ "Oh my... I'm sorry, Jimmy," Mr. Barrow whispered as he closed his eyes. "I thought you didn't want my company."

"It's alright," Jimmy said as he took one step forward and put his hand on Mr. Barrow's shoulder. Thomas gasped. It was the first time they touched since Thomas pushed Jimmy away before the beating. "It was a misunderstanding. I'm just sorry you were upset and I mean what I told Ivy, you're a dear friend of mine." Jimmy smiled.

Thomas smiled back. _I think I've fallen in love again._

* * *

Thomas was on the boat on its way to New York. He was on the third class deck, leaning on the rail looking at the ocean. The sun was setting and the colors of the sky were orange and pink, a sight to remember. _If only you were here with me to share this. _Unknown to Thomas, Lord Grantham was watching him closely.

That same evening, Thomas was dressing Robert for dinner.

"Barrow, can I ask you a personal question?"

Thomas was standing behind the Earl as he dusted his suit. "Yes, milord."

Robert Crawley turned around to face Thomas. "Are you happy?"

Thomas raised his eyebrows. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

"Well," Robert cleared his throat. "I don't mean to pry and stop me if I offend you but I've been watching you lately and you seem sad. I do have an understanding that you and James are friends, is that right?"

Thomas nodded. "We are friends, Sir. We came to an agreement and we put our troubles behind us."

Robert smiled. "I'm pleased to hear that, Barrow. And since you two are friends, you're not interested in finding yourself a companion?"

Thomas was completely taken aback. _This is WAY too personal!_

Seeing his expression, Robert shook his head. "Forgive me, Thomas. I thought since, you are safe in our home, let me tell you that firstly, that you would find a companion of the sort."

Thomas looked at the floor. "I'm not interested in anyone's company but Jimm-" he cut himself short. _Oh, fuck._

"I see," Lord Grantham said. "I suppose young James only wants to be your friend. I'm so sorry, Thomas."

Thomas forced a smile. "It's quite alright, milord. As long as I have him as a friend, I'm happy."

* * *

Lady Emma Hardwick had given Thomas a suit for the evening to go to that club that she was talking about during dinner. She gasped when she saw Thomas walk out of the bathroom. "Thomas, darling. You were born to wear that suit!"

He smiled as he dusted himself off. The evening suit fitted perfectly. He looked at himself in the mirror and couldn't believe he was in the Countess's bedroom trying on a suit and being addressed so informally. _Only in America._ "You know, Rudolph Valentino is no match to you. You are exquisite!"

"Thank you, milady." Thomas had never received this kind of praise from anyone in his entire life, not even from his parents. The attention Lady Hardwick was giving him was simply ridiculous. "This is highly inappropriate, your ladyship. I'm a working class lad, I don't belong in them clubs and fancy places."

Lady Hardwick giggled. "Not in New York, Thomas. "This is the New World! The division of classes is dying and before you know it, everyone will be equals! England is stuck in the past. And you're in New York and you will come to this club with us and you will dance will me... You do know how to dance, right?"

Thomas smirked. "It's one of my greatest talents."

* * *

Thomas Barrow and Emma Hardwick were dancing across the dance hall of a prestigious dancing club in New York City, The Golden Swan, and all eyes were on them as they stole the dance floor. The jazz music flew all over the place and people cheered when they saw the dancing couple do something good. Then Emma Hardwick showed Thomas the newer dances that required more body contact and less "crazy dancing" like she said. "It's a slow waltz dancing, the one that will make two people fall desperately in love."

Thomas smiled nervously. _If only she knew... I won't disappoint her._

* * *

Thomas laid in the small bed after that outing. He had to admit that he didn't remember when was the last time he had this fun. _Probably when I was a child._ He chuckled at the memory of him dancing with this beautiful woman who clearly became interested in him. _I have eyes only for one, my sweet Jimmy. Oh, how I miss him!_ He closed his eyes and immediately saw Jimmy looking at Thomas, smiling at him, eyes sparkling at him.

He wasn't sure when him and Lord Grantham would return to England, but Thomas didn't want to miss up the opportunity to get a couple of presents for him a few days ago.

_"These music sheets will make any piano player scream with delight," the clerk told Thomas. "These are the popular ones here_._"_

_"Right," Thomas said as he studied them carefully for the last time. "I'll take those three then."_

_The clerk raised his eyebrows. "Gee, mister! You are gonna make someone happy for sure!"_

_Thomas nodded and smiled, "that's the idea, isn't it?"_

He looked at the envelope sitting one the dresser. It was probably the most valuable thing Thomas had right now. He, in a way, regretted telling Jimmy that he wanted to find him courting a girl from the village. The part of Jimmy being happy and healthy, yes, but the courting not so much. It had been five weeks since he left England. He was used to seeing the beautiful footman everyday, this was torture. Thomas turned on his side and every night for the past five weeks, never failed to say "Good night, Jimmy, my love. Sweet dreams, I love you."


	6. Chapter 6

So… for obvious reasons, this fic is now is M lol  
Rose encourages Jimmy to try something to make Thomas fall for him again.

And, I want to dedicate this chapter to the lovely **abbys-jam-juggler**. She supported me through some doubts about the story and convinced me to write it differently. So thank you, Abby!

* * *

_I love Thomas Barrow! I love Thomas Barrow! Does he love me still? Rose says she thinks he still does. She said she saw him when I left with what's-her-face out in the yard! What am I going to do? When is he coming? I want to see him! I want to tell him! Jimmy, calm the fuck down!_ The young footman closed the door to his room and leaned against it. "What are these sensations I'm feeling?" He whispered into the darkness. "They say when you're in love, you feel butterflies in your stomach, I thought that was the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Yet, here I am feeling those butterflies! I feel like running!"

Jimmy turned on the little lamp on his nightstand and changed into his night clothes. He undid his bed and sat on it. On the pillow, was Thomas' shirt, he took it and smelled it, but now it smelled like Jimmy. _His scent is gone. No good. I need a new one._

He turned off the lamp and opened the door very quietly. He tiptoed to Thomas' room and opened the door. Once he was inside in the safe haven of Thomas Barrow, he turned on his lamp and looked around with a smile. There was a small table next to the dresser that Jimmy didn't notice the last time he was there. On that table, there was an ashtray, some cards and a picture of a boy. His face was serious, he stood straight in some kind of school uniform, his black hair falling on his forehead. Jimmy frowned and looked at the picture. He took it out of the frame and turned it around. _Thomas Barrow. August 1894._ Jimmy grinned and looked at the picture again, He sat on Thomas' bed. "Well, look at you, Mr. Barrow," Jimmy told the picture lovingly. "Even as a kid, you stood so proud. You were a lovely boy. I wish I would have known you as kids. You became a beautiful man. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I am going to make you very happy." He kissed the picture as a sign of his newly made vow.

He put the picture back. Jimmy was overwhelmed and tired. He lay down on Thomas' bed and smelled the pillow. _I never knew I would come to love your scent so much. I crave it madly. _Jimmy turned off the lamp and laid quietly. He slowly ran his hands on his chest. He imagined Thomas' long and elegant fingers touching his chest. Jimmy sighed deeply. His fingers started to tease his clothed nipples, giving a tingling sensation to his now rising cock. Jimmy gasped quietly. He undid the buttons of his night shirt and pulled it open. The tips of his fingers rubbed his nipples again, making them hard. Licking both fingers, he did it again. Jimmy moaned. He imagined Thomas looking at him with hungry eyes could see those porcelain hands touching him. Jimmy's right hand moved down to his stomach and caressed it. Then his hand moved further down over his pants and found his now hard cock. Jimmy squeezed the clothed tip earning him a gasp. In his mind, Thomas had bitten his clothed cock and looked at Jimmy with a smug grin. Jimmy couldn't take it anymore and pulled his pants off.

Raising his knees, the footman licked his hand and stroke his own cock lightly. His left hand took hold of his balls and squeezed. Jimmy threw his back on the pillow and grunted. He licked his left forefinger and began to rub his entrance. Jimmy had done this a few times before and found it to be very pleasurable. He kept on rubbing his entrance faster as he stroke himself harder. Soon, Jimmy planted his heels on the bed and started to move his hips , matching his strokes. "Aah, Thomas," he moaned as he came on his chest and arms... and possibly Thomas' bed.

Jimmy calmed himself down and smiled. _One day, I'm going to touch you like this and you will do it to me too._ Jimmy turned his head and smelled the pillow and opened his eyes in shock. He touched himself in Thomas' bed! _Mr. Barrow is going to think I'm a pervert!_

* * *

The next day, during afternoon tea in the drawing room, Jimmy could feel Lady Rose looking at him. He turned around and she smiled at him. "Cousin Cora," she asked innocently. "I would like to move a piece of furniture in my room and I was wondering if I could take James with me for a moment."

Jimmy raised his hands and suddenly became nervous. _Uh oh, she's planning something._

Cora smiled. "I don't see why not, do you mind, James?"

Jimmy shook his head. "Not at all, your ladyship. I'm glad to help."

Rose stood up, "great! Let's go, James!"

Jimmy and Rose left the room and went upstairs to her room. She closed the door. "So? How are you?"

The footman chuckled. "What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean, Jimmy. You love Barrow! You realized it, thanks to me!"

Jimmy winced. "Can we refer to him as Thomas?"

"Why yes!" Thomas it is!" Rose giggled. "Oh, this is such a romantic story! But now the fun comes!"

"You are starting to make me nervous, I knew you were planning something!"

"Jimmy, you now have to win Thomas."

"I just want to tell him when he comes back," Jimmy said as he paced the room.

Rose smiled and shook her head. "You will not do that. You are going to make him fall for you and I know exactly how you are going to do that."

_Uh oh._

Rose giggled at Jimmy's terrified expression. "Remember how Lady Hardwick was talking about Thomas dancing and everything?"

Jimmy smiled. "I will never forget that."

"Well," Rose sang as she stood in front of Jimmy. "You are going to ask Thomas to give you dancing lessons!" She bounced like a rabbit, all excited.

Jimmy just stared at her. "Dancing lessons? He knows I know how to dance, Rose. This is too strange."

"Ah," Rose said as she pointed a finger. "But you don't know the dancing that he learned from Lady Hardwick, especially being a new sensation in New York. So that means, we don't know the steps to that!"

Jimmy raised his eyebrows and smiled. "That's true. It will be very strange, Rose. He'll think I'm mad or something."

"No, he won't. Tell him you want to learn new moves to try to get a girl that you spotted in the village."

Then Jimmy remembered what Thomas had said before he left._ I want to find you happy and healthy and courting a girl from the village_.

"Rose," Jimmy said. "You are a genius."

Rose screamed him delight.


	7. Chapter 7

**Jimmy gets an unexpected surprise.**

* * *

It had been six weeks since Mr. Barrow left (not that he was counting) and one week since he told Rose about his feelings for the under-butler. At first, he felt a little nervous about telling the charming young woman his secret realization but as the days had gone by, Rose had become the loyal friend that Jimmy has been waiting for. The best part? They would never be romantically involved so no uncomfortable situations.

Jimmy kept thinking about Rose's bold idea about Thomas giving the footman dancing lessons. It thrilled him but made him very nervous. He had several theories of what Thomas would think of them. The first one, Thomas would probably think that Jimmy was strange and crazy and that there was no way in hell he would teach Jimmy how to dance because of them standing too close to each other and Thomas thinking that Jimmy might explode and then the fear of the police being called or getting sacked. After all, Thomas had kept a respectful distance from him and their friendship had been careful and growing.

The second theory was that Thomas would say no right away because he had no interest in Jimmy and that the entire time that Thomas was in love with Jimmy was a complete waste of time and that Thomas would be moving back to America permanently because a rich and handsome man had offered him a job that the handsome under-butler could simply not refuse (or resist) and in the end break Jimmy's heart and everything would simply go to shit. So he hated this theory, but it was still a possibility.

The third theory was Jimmy's favorite. Thomas would say yes to the offer but in exchange to give Thomas a chance at love with Jimmy in which Jimmy would definitely say yes and the dancing lessons would never have to happen and they would end up kissing, caressing each other's bodies and making love on the rug by the main entrance with the fireplace going on and the fire would bring out a glow to their naked and sweaty bodies and they would both be crying out each other's names and... Jimmy had to shake his head. _That third theory is a little exaggerated, but it's a possibility, well, except for us making love by the rug with the fireplace at its finest performance and Thomas' golden body glowing with the heat... Bloody hell, I'm hard again._

* * *

Jimmy had been sleeping in Thomas' room for a week. He wore Thomas' undershirts, his spare pajamas, he tried his trousers but they were a little big. Every night he had pleasured himself on Thomas' bed. One of those nights he thrust his hips against his hand so hard and so fast that the little bed started to creak and thought he was going to break it. _The last thing Thomas needs is a broken bed and how the hell am I going to explain it?_

One evening, Jimmy was sitting in the servant's hall lost in thought. The family decided to go to the Dowager Countess' house for dinner so pretty much the staff had the night off. The young blonde looked at the rocking chair by the fire and smiled. _If you were here, you'd be sitting on that rocking chair telling me stories and I would be laughing at your tales because they're wonderful. You'd be smoking and maybe have the paper on your lap and y..._

"Ah, James, there you are," Mrs. Hughes said as she sat in front of him in the servant's hall. Jimmy jumped and gasped, he put his hand on his chest. "Are you alright? I didn't mean to startle you."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Hughes, I didn't see you," Jimmy said as he tried to calm himself down.

'And you didn't hear me," she said gently. "I've called your name three times."

"Oh," Jimmy felt himself blush. "I suppose I wasn't paying attention."

The older woman nodded. "Can you come into my office, I'd like a word with you."

"Am I in trouble?" Jimmy asked nervously as he stood up. "I haven't done nothing wrong."

"Just come along, James. You are in no trouble."

Jimmy followed Mrs. Hughes quietly into her office. She gestured for him to sit down. She closed the door and offered some sherry in which the footman was grateful so that he could calm his nerves down. _What have I done that I didn't notice that it was wrong? Am I getting sacked?_

"James, really, calm yourself down," she said as she said down. "I just want to make a few observations."

Jimmy raised his eyebrows. "I'm not getting sacked?"

Mrs. Hughes chuckled and shook her head. "No. But I do have to tell you something and I am certain that you'd want this matter private, that is why I wanted to talk to you."

The young blonde frowned. "I don't understand."

Mrs. Hughes sighed. "I will just go straight to the point then. I saw you walking out of Mr. Barrow's room this morning."

Jimmy's whole body froze. His heart stopped beating. He thought he was going to faint. _Oh fuck! Oh fuckety fuckety fuck fuck fuck! Shit! Piss! Bollocks! Son of a b..._

"James?"

Jimmy cleared his throat. "Uhm, I, um, uh, ah," he hissed.

Elsie Hughes smiled at the confused and flustered footman. "James, calm down. I'm not going to report you or anything. You miss our good old Mr. Barrow. I have known for a while, I just wasn't sure until I saw you this morning, then I received my answer that you truly miss Mr. Barrow."

Jimmy wiped his brow and took a deep breath. "Oh, Mrs. Hughes, I..." he said shakily.

She inquired gently, "you like Thomas, James?"

Jimmy closed his eyes and tears were coming down his face. He nodded. "I do. I'm still coming to terms with these feelings. I know it's wrong, and-"

"Now wait just a moment," Mrs. Hughes interrupted. "There is nothing wrong to have feelings of this sort."

Jimmy cleaned his face with his handkerchief. "There isn't?"

She shook her head. "No, I just don't say anything about it because it would give Mr. Carson a heart attack. But his lordship doesn't think so either and we've kept on Thomas because we are fond of him... despite his nonsense and such but deep down, he's a good lad and I've seen that you've noticed this too."

Jimmy chuckled and cleaned his nose.

"I will say this," Mrs. Hughes warned. "Don't spend the night in Mr. Barrow's room anymore. I'm afraid that Mr. Carson could find out and you'd get in big trouble."

Jimmy nodded, "I promised I will be more careful."

"Alright," she said as they stood up. "I hope you and Thomas settle this matter."

"I hope so too," jimmy smiled. "Thank you, Mrs. Hughes."

Jimmy climbed the stairs to go to his own room this time. He was amazed on how understanding people can really be. Not everybody condemns love between two men, at leant not Lady Rose, Mrs. Hughes and apparently his Lordship. He felt that him and Thomas would be able to have a relationship in the house, carefully of course, but some people wouldn't mind. _And that is just fine by me._


	8. Chapter 8

"Come on, Jimmy!" Called a laughing Rose one night in the gardens of the huge estate.

"I feel like we're doing something illegal and we're going to get arrested," grumbled Jimmy as he followed the happy girl. Since their friendship began, Rose decided they should sneak out of the house at night at least two times a week so that they can talk properly

"Oh, will you stop being so grumpy? This is not illegal," laughed Rose. "If we get caught, I will say that I wanted you to escort and keep me company on my nightly walks."

"You don't have nightly walks," Jimmy said as he caught up to her. "Her Ladyship and Carson are going to find out. Carson's going to kill me and have me for breakfast, I know he'd love that!"

Rose stared at Jimmy. "My, you can be so dramatic... and morbid! Don't worry, I'll charm myself to Carson and Cousin Cora will believe anything I say."

Both walked far away enough to reach the pillars. "Ah, here we are!" Rose said as she spin with her arms extended. "Away from any eavesdropper!"

"Eavesdropper? Are we having a secret meeting that I'm not aware about?"

Rose laughed and sat on one of the steps. "We need to talk about our little plan for you to seduce Thomas!"

Jimmy sat next to her. "Seduce Thomas? And since when this has become our little plan? You're the one that's coming up with these crazy ideas! Wouldn't it be easy if I just tell him how I feel?"

Rose hit Jimmy on the arm playfully. "No! I want to have some fun!"

Jimmy frowned. "Great, I didn't know I had to amuse you."

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that," she sighed. "I've always loved the idea of matchmaking. I've done it before and all three times have been successful. This is my first time matchmaking two men, it's bound for the history books!"

"History books," chuckled Jimmy. "I still don't understand why you're doing this."

Rose got up and stood in front of Jimmy. "I see two very different people in you and Thomas."

"Obviously," snorted Jimmy.

Rose gave a dirty look at Jimmy as she placed her hands on her hips. "Will you be quiet? I'm trying to make a point here!"

Jimmy smiled at her silliness. "Please, do go on."

"As I was saying before I was interrupted," she cleared her throat. "Two different people. You are outgoing, sweet and charming." Jimmy smiled. "And then, there's Thomas... I've spoken to him just a few times and he's nice to me. He doesn't give me that false smile that he gives some of the others, like Mary. I even made him laugh one time. He apologized for it, but I saw something in him that not many people have seen and I'm sure you've seen it... his smile is beautiful, so is his laughter. Now that I know his history, no wonder he's the way he is because he has gone through so much and I want to help him."

Jimmy was touched by this. "Rose... You are so different from everybody else! You surprise me," he said in awe.

Rose smirked. "Isn't that the truth, Mr. Kent? Now let's plan!"

Jimmy couldn't help but laugh.

* * *

After sleeping in his own room for the first time in a week, Jimmy had trouble finding sleep. He had grown accustomed to Thomas' surroundings and his soft bed. Jimmy fantasized about him and Thomas sleeping in his bed after passionate sessions of lovemaking (he liked to phrase it like that) and them promising each other's love and other romantic things. _Yes, I am soppy, so kill me. And I do think Thomas is soppy too. Like Rose says, everyone is romantic at heart._

The next morning had everyone in the house moving like crazy. There was a charity event that Lady Grantham planned and the people in the village were invited to be part of the festivities. There were lots of games going on and people were having a good time.

Jimmy tried to participate in one of the games but he was called a shrimp. Mr. Moseley laughed and ended up impressing Miss Baxter. He them walk arm in arm. _Well, that's nice for good old Moseley to find himself a lady friend._

His thoughts were interrupted by people clapping and cheering. The ladies of the house ran towards the entrance. Before he knew what was happening, Rose pulled him aside.

"They're back!" She exclaimed excitedly, her eyes wide and a big smile on her face.

Jimmy had no idea what she was talking about. "Who?"

Rose slapped his arm. "Cousin Robert and Thomas! Jimmy, Thomas is here!"

A few seconds passed before Jimmy could register that Thomas had come back. _He's back. Thomas is back! Oh my God, THOMAS IS BACK!"_

Jimmy gasped. "Thomas is back?!"

Rose laughed, "yes!"

Jimmy pulled his hair. "OhmyGod,he'sback! Idon'tknowwhatI'mgoingtosaytohim!"

Rose frowned and shook his shoulder. "Calm down! You're talking too fast! Breathe, Jimmy! Just be normal."

Jimmy began to breathe heavy. "Idon'tknowhowtobreathenormal!"

"Stop talking so fast! Just be yourself like you used to."

Jimmy closed his eyes and shook his head frantically. "Ican't!" Took a deep breath. "I don't think I can be normal around him. My feelings for him are too strong." He began to breathe deeply. "He's going to think I'm mad."

Rose turned his around and pushed him gently towards the house. "You are going to be fine. Pretend you don't love him and go do your job!"

Jimmy trotted to the house. He could see the car that was carrying Lord Grantham and Thomas. It stopped at the entrance of the house. All the ladies went to greet Lord Grantham as Thomas got out of the car. Robert Crawley looked at Thomas and gave him a small smile and a bow with his head, Thomas did the same.

Jimmy and Mr. Moseley stood next to the car and approached Thomas. Jimmy stopped breathing. _Look at him! He is so handsome! Dashing like Lady Hardwick said!_

"So, how was it?" Asked Mr. Moseley curiously.

Jimmy tried to put his "whatever" face, but inside he felt goose bumps. _I WAS GOING TO TALK TO HIM! SHUT UP, YOU BALDING THING!_

Thomas was taking suitcases out of the car. "It was very modern and interesting. How's everything been?"

_Come on, you can talk to him. _"Not very modern and interesting."

Thomas laughed. Lady Grantham called out for Mr. Moseley as Jimmy and Thomas were left alone. Thomas stopped what he was doing. "Jimmy? How are you?"

Jimmy put the suitcases down and looked up at Thomas. "I'm fine. How are you?" _I could just look at your eyes all day._

Thomas gave Jimmy one of his real smiles and Jimmy smiled back. "I'm well, thank you."

Jimmy cleared his throat. "Did you have a good time in New York, Mr. Barrow?"

Thomas chuckled. "I have a lot of stories to tell you. If you'd like to hear them, maybe tonight after everything is done for the day?"

Jimmy could have sworn Thomas sounded hopeful. "Of course, That'd be lo-"

"Ah, Mr. Barrow," interrupted Mr. Carson as he came to stand by Thomas. _WHY ARE YOU HERE?! I WAS HAVING A MOMENT WITH HIM!_ "Lord Grantham has requested for you to go and rest. You will not be needed for tonight, he said you did a lot for him in this trip and that you deserve the day off."

Thomas looked taken aback. "Well, thank you, Mr. Carson."

Mr. Carson nodded and cleared his throat. "James can take care of things from here on." He turned around and left.

"Oh, Jimmy... I'm sorry," Thomas said shyly.

Jimmy smiled and shook his head. "You go rest, Mr. Barrow. I'll take care of things for you. We can talk later if you're up for it."

"Thank you, Jimmy," Thomas smiled, turned around and went inside the house. Jimmy just looked at him the entire time. He sighed. _You're welcome, my love._


	9. Chapter 9

As Jimmy was unpacking Lord Grantham's things, Rose sneaked in and closed the door.

"Well?!" She asked excitedly, "how do you feel?!"

Jimmy sighed as he closed one of the valises. "Thrilled, excited, content and disappointed."

Rose frowned. "Why? Isn't this what you wanted? He's here you know."

_She's not thinking clearly._ Jimmy shook his head as he put the valise inside one of the wardrobes and closed it. "Not like this," he said. "I wish I could be with him right now, instead, I'm working and he was sent to rest. I do want him to rest but I want to see him, it's been so long. I felt like an idiot with him when I saw him, I didn't know what say or how to behave, I forgot how I used to do it before I realized my feelings for him."

Rose chuckled, "hmh, you two looked adorable looking at each other and being shy."

Jimmy gasped. "I can't believe you saw us! On the other hand, I'm not surprised that you did. Suddenly, my affairs have become yours, but don't worry, I know you're trying to help." The last part was said when Jimmy saw Rose look guilty. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do or Carson will chew my ass."

* * *

Thomas unpacked his own valise. With his clothes on the bed, he went to the wardrobe to put his valise away. As he did this, there were many thoughts running in his head, especially Jimmy.

A little over a week ago, Thomas was dressing Lord Grantham for the day and said, "Thomas?"

"Yes, my lord?" He said as he buttoned the cufflinks.

"I think we are done here with New York, don't you think?"

"Quite so, sir," Thomas chuckled. "That means we'll go back to England?"

Robert Crawley nodded. "How about I make arrangements for us to leave tomorrow in the morning?"

_I can go back and see Jimmy!_ "That sounds good, my lord." Thomas sighed. _I told him I wanted him courting a girl from the village... what if he did? What am I supposed to do?_

Lord Grantham stared at the now valet lost in thought. "Thomas?"

He blinked several times. "I'm sorry sir; I got distracted for a moment. We can leave whenever you please. I miss… I miss Downton."

"So do I," replied Lord Grantham. In reality, he knew what Thomas had meant about missing "Downton", he knew Thomas missed Jimmy Kent.

Three days had gone by and both of them were on their way to England. Thomas was on the second class deck. Lord Grantham, again, had purchased a second class ticket for Thomas and this time he insisted for the under-butler to enjoy himself, "as a thank you for coming with me in such short notice, I truly value how loyal you've been to us."

He was actually glad that he had some time to himself. The late afternoon skies were filled with beautiful shades of orange. The cool sea breeze hitting his face as he closed his eyes. He saw Jimmy's face smiling at him at one of his many stories. _I told him all those stories to get him interested in me, or so I believe._

Thomas was happy to be going back home. _I rather have my life in England._ But he was also worried about Jimmy. _What if he found himself a girl? I've been gone for over a month, which gives him plenty of time to look for a girl… What if he's already engaged and handed in his notice? What if we get back and he's already gone? I don't think I can cope with that…_

These thoughts hunted Thomas for the next few days when they were finally pulling into the Downton estate and were very close to the house. Thomas felt nervous.

He tried to keep himself composed when he saw Jimmy. His heart nearly exploded with relief when he saw his beloved footman and how Jimmy's comment of things not being modern and interesting convinced Thomas that the young man didn't have a girl. Unfortunately for them, their little reunion was interrupted by Carson… like always.

Now he was in his room and felt calm for the first time in days. He did admit to himself that he did have some fun in New York, especially when he went with all the society people to that dancing club and how he and Lady Hardwick stole the show by dancing. There were even some whispers of thinking that Thomas was Emma Hardwick's younger lover._ If only they knew._

In his other valise, Thomas carefully pulled out the brown envelope that had the music sheets that he bought for Jimmy. He did tell the truth to the store clerk that these "music sheets were a special gift to his love" and that had the clerk smiling. He also took out a couple of records of bands that were popular at the moment in New York, he didn't care for their names, all Thomas cared was to make Jimmy happy. _I'll give these to him tonight._

* * *

When Thomas went down to the servant's hall for dinner, he was bombarded with curious questions about their trip and he tried his best to answer them all until Mrs. Hughes said, "stop pestering poor Mr. Barrow and let's have our meal."

Jimmy sat across from Thomas and smiled at him. _I'm so happy he's here! But I must do what Rose said: don't stare, sit across from him and don't be too obvious! This is going to be so difficult!_

Thomas couldn't help but grin at Jimmy. _I'm so happy he's still here! That means no girl; no engagement and notices were ever handed in! But he can still have an interest in a girl so I need to act normal. Why am I hopeful? We agreed to only be friends. _

"On behalf from all of us, we welcome you back, Mr. Barrow," Mrs. Hughes said with a gentle smile. There were a few claps and agreements and everyone stood up to leave for the night. Only Thomas and Jimmy were the only ones still there.

Thomas stood up and faced the fireplace and saw the rocking chair. "Ah, there's that rocking chair that I really like," he murmured as he sat down and rocked himself for a few seconds.

Jimmy couldn't help but stare. Mr. Barrow had his eyes closed as he rocked himself. _He is so beautiful, so beautiful… I can't help but feel regret on the way that I treated him a few years ago, I could have ruined his life!_

Thomas opened his eyes and saw Jimmy's sadness and became worried "Jimmy? Are you alright?"

Jimmy shut his eyes as he shook his head and took a deep breath. "No, Mr. Barrow, I'm not alright. There is something that I need to tell you."

Thomas raised his eyebrows and held his breath. He began to feel nervous. "Please do tell, I'm worried about you."

Jimmy sighed heavily. "Mr. Barrow," he began. "We have been good friends for the past three years. Even though you are my superior, I see you as a really good friend, possibly my only good friend." The footman stood up as he paced the room. "All this time that you have been gone, I've thought a lot about our friendship and such."

Thomas was really starting to get nervous. _What is he getting at? _"Jimmy, I don't understand."

Jimmy sat at a chair in front of Thomas and noticed how the young man had tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry for almost ruining your life," he choked. "I nearly ruined you! I nearly got you sacked, I nearly got you arrested, I made nasty remarks at you and kept on making fun at you. I'm so, so sorry for all these things! And when you got beaten… I never apologized to you. Thomas, I am so sorry!" This time, Jimmy let the tears flow free.

Thomas was completely surprised. In truth, he never expected Jimmy to ever apologize; it was the sign of their new friendship that made Thomas happy. "Oh Jimmy," he cooed. "It is over and done with, don't worry about it." He wanted to reach out and hold him but he didn't want to abuse Jimmy being vulnerable at that moment.

"But here's the thing," Jimmy sniffed as he wiped his tears away with his sleeve. "I do want to apologize to you, or it will consume me."

_Fuck restrictions, he needs comfort._ Thomas stood up from the rocking chair, turned a chair around to face Jimmy and sat down. "Well, in that case… I do accept your apology," he said gently with a smile.

Jimmy's eyes went wide. "You do? That is such a relief, Mr. Barrow!"

Thomas chuckled, "hmh, of course." He placed his hand on Jimmy's forearm and patted it. Jimmy couldn't help but gasp quietly. _He's touching me…_ He returned the gesture by placing his hand on top of Thomas' and gave it a squeeze. _I love you… _They stared at each other for a few moments until Thomas cleared his throat and broke the spell. "I brought you some things from New York," he said as he stood up.

Jimmy cleared his throat too. "Oh? You didn't have to." Jimmy said sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head.

"I wanted to, come on," he called as he was leaving the servant's hall. "Let's go to my room so that I can give them to you." He turned around and left, Jimmy walked right behind him.


	10. Chapter 10

Thomas opened the door to his bedroom and gestured Jimmy to come in. The footman noticed how the under-butler was still unpacking; the well-used valise was on the foot of the bed, along with some shoes. The wardrobe still had some clothes on it and he noticed a mysterious green packet on it.

"Please," Thomas gestured to the chair, "have a seat."

Jimmy sat down and took a deep breath. For a moment, he felt profoundly embarrassed of the things that he did on Thomas' bed. He looked at it and felt himself burn; for seven straight nights, Jimmy pleasured himself on Thomas' bed by smelling his shirts and even used the shirts on himself. Before he knew it, Thomas spoke.

"Hm, that's odd," he said. "I thought I had ten of these."

Jimmy turned to look at Thomas standing by the wardrobe, the second drawer was open. _That's where he keeps his… Oh fuck! The shirts! I have two! I forgot to put them back! _Jimmy was completely horrified and mortified. He chuckled. "Did you leave them in New York, perhaps?" He tried to keep himself composed but he knew he sounded nervous _He's going to find out I had something to do with it!_

"You know," Thomas carefully said. "I think I did. Now that you mention it, we did leave in a hurry. I had to get my things together as well as Lord Grantham's. Oh well… two less shirts won't hurt me, won't it?"

Jimmy grinned at Thomas who returned the contagious smile. "I suppose not," he let out a shaky laugh. _That was bloody close!_

Thomas took the green packet and sat on the bed. "So, as I said before," he looked at Jimmy shyly. "I brought you some things that I thought you might like." Thomas handed the Jimmy the bag. The blonde smiled brightly and looked into the bag and gasped. He took out several music sheets and eyed them carefully in wonder. "According to the store clerk," explained Thomas. "These are the notes of the songs that are currently popular in New York. I'm not at all familiar with them, but the clerk was convinced so I got the ones that he recommended." The under-butler shifted uncomfortably on the bed. _Have I gone too far?_

"Mr. Barrow," Jimmy finally spoke hoarsely. "These are… wonderful. You- you shouldn't have."

"You're my only friend, Jimmy and I wanted to. You love music and I enjoy to hear you play because it makes you happy and that, well," he rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled. "That makes me happy."

Jimmy felt an urge to throw himself into Thomas' arms and kiss him senselessly and it was very difficult to restrain these feelings. But he was determined to show gratitude in a friendly way. "I am so happy to have a friend like you," he murmured as he stood up and sat next to the under-butler on the bed. "Your friendship is the most cherished thing in the world." _And I love you so…_

"Ah, I, um," stammered Thomas. "I'm glad you liked your presents." All of a sudden, he felt very nervous to be this close to Jimmy. _I can't touch him, I won't touch him._ "I also cherish your friendship, it's so valuable." Thomas couldn't help it and lost himself in Jimmy's eyes.

Jimmy was also lost in Thomas' eyes. _I've never noticed their color, they're so beautiful, and it's like I can see who he really is… A kind and gentle man and I believe I have fallen in love all over again._

The knock on the door broke the spell. Both men stood up and moved away from each other. Thomas cleared his throat. "Who is it?"

The muffled voice came. "It's me, Moseley, I just wanted to welcome you back and bid you a good night."

Thomas frowned. "Thank you, Mr. Moseley; it's nice to be back and good night to you too." He looked at Jimmy who was looking at the music sheets. Then the footsteps disappeared along with a door closing.

"I should be going too," the footman said softly. "Thank you for these again."

Thomas smiled, "you're welcome."

"Good night, Mr. Barrow," Jimmy said as he opened the door.

"Good night, Jimmy."

The door closed and Thomas was alone again, but this time, he didn't feel that lonely now that Jimmy appreciated him. The world didn't seem so bad after all.

* * *

The next couple of days, everything went back to normal at the Abbey. Thomas and Jimmy fell back to their usual routines but whenever they would see each other on the hallway or the kitchen or anywhere in the house, they would smile warmly at each other.

Jimmy tried his hardest to not seem too obvious whenever he would see Thomas. Every time the under-butler came into view, Jimmy could feel his stomach do backflips and he always held his breath. _This is so bloody hard!_

It was lunchtime and everyone was eating in the servant's hall. Mr. Carson came in and everyone stood up. "There is a guest coming tonight for dinner. I'm sure you all remember Lady Hardwick." Thomas head shot up and his eyes widened, Jimmy did the same. "She regarded you very fondly, Mr. Barrow," the butler murmured.

"Did she now?" He tried his best to sound cold. _"Oh dear God, what did she say?!_

Mr. Carson nodded. "Yes, she did mention that you were a remarkable dancer."

Some of the younger maids giggled and Jimmy shot them a dirty look. The older man cleared his throat. "Yes, well, I expect things to go smoothly tonight. Please carry on," he said as he sat down.

Jimmy looked at Thomas who still looked stunned. The footman never forgot that fateful night when the mischievous countess spoke about her dancing with the former valet. The night that he realized he was in love with Thomas Barrow.

* * *

"Jimmy!" Whispered Rose as the blonde walked by the hallways as he was winding the clocks. He looked around and went to Rose. She ushered him inside. "Emma Hardwick is coming tonight," she whispered once the door was closed.

"Yes," he whispered back. "Carson told us."

"What did Thomas do?"

"He was pale as a ghost when Carson said mentioned that she had danced with Thomas."

Rose gasped. "Oh my goodness! This is going to be interesting!"

Jimmy smiled and shook his head. "I have to get back to work before they find out I'm missing."

Rose giggled as she opened the door and shooed Jimmy away, no one noticed.


End file.
